The Ride
by Guardian-381
Summary: ~*~FINISHED~*~ Angsty Seto/Joey, from Seto's POV. Seto's contemplating suicide, and concocts a plan that will allow him to take Joey down with him. R/R!
1. Ice

Hey, everyone! I'm taking a different turn with this story from my "Near You Always" fluff into a sort of angsty introspection. This is going to be another Seto/Joey story, written entirely from Seto's perspective. For anyone who missed that, this is YAOI (two guys in a relationship). If you don't like it, then why didn't you hit that back button on your browser at the last sentence? 

If you must flame, please be intelligent about it. I think it's worse for you than for me to have everyone laughing at how stupid you are, what with your lack of grammar, abysmal spelling, and so on. If you don't have anything with less than fifty errors a sentence to say, then don't say anything at all. 

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, or anything pertaining to it, obviously. Yaoi/quasi-angst warnings for this chappie. Please review; I enjoy all kinds of feedback as long you can back up anything negative convincingly. Enjoy! 

Chapter 1: Ice 

Over the hum of the computer and the rhythmic sound of my typing, I can hear the grandfather clock in the foyer downstairs chime four times in succession. It's hard to believe that I've been working eight hours straight already. It feels like no time at all has passed, but then again, I'm the one who worked for seventy-two hours to meet a crucial deadline on a then-crucial project with no sustenance but the occasional mug of coffee brought in by a servant. 

Mokuba made me promise after that incident to try to limit the time I spent working to a more reasonable level, further defining reasonable as no more all-nighters or, in my case, all-weekenders, so I'm faced with the choice of stopping here for the night or breaking my word to my little brother. I didn't know it was possible to close a program that fast, really. 

I rise from my leather desk chair and stretch languidly, feeling joints locked too long in one position crack as I study the ice patterns on the glass doors that open onto the terrace adjoining my home office. It occurs to me vaguely that a light snow has begun to drift down, and what I can see of the town looks like one gigantic snow globe, shaken up by whatever divine entity one might put stock in. Of course, it's all nonsense to me. Religion, loyalty, friendship... and love, of course. 

Ah, yes, love. If there ever was a dirty four-letter word, it should have been that one. To this day, I, the great Seto Kaiba, with an IQ superior to most people on the planet, have been unable to define just what love means. Is it the childish, playful manner with which Yugi and Yami conduct themselves, even in public places? Perhaps it's the battered puppy dog routine that Bakura and Ryou play out each day; the master beating his pet, trying to get a reaction out of it, and the pitiful whelp crawling back each day. Both Yugi and Ryou have told me, on separate occasions, that they are madly in love with their yamis, yet somehow, I find it hard to reconcile either of the two definitions in my own life. Yugi's version is too, well, "cute" for my taste, and Ryou's much too degrading. 

So what then, you may ask, is love for me? Love, as far as I'm concerned, equals nothing but pain and anguish that any smart person would endeavor to avoid. It's so far removed from the cure-all that annoying Gardner girl makes it out to be, and it's not all fluff and cotton candy like everyone else seems to believe, either. I think it's statistically proven somewhere that for every happy couple holding hands on park benches, there are ten more who are in line for the divorce courts and twenty others who are going to be headed there within the next month or so. Love isn't synonymous with happiness and bliss; more like betrayal, anger, and deceit. 

I will admit that I love Mokuba, though, without a doubt. However, my love for him doesn't go beyond the love one would have for the air they breathe or the providence that sustains them. My little brother is all I have left; he's the one that has kept me from becoming a shell of a person by blowing on the dying embers of my spirit, trying to keep them alive and as strong as possible from day to day. I wonder if he even cares that he's throwing away the best years of his life on me; after all, what's the point of delaying the inevitable, keeping my spirit alive for a few more months, days, hours? Will any change drastic enough be wrought in my hell of a life to save me from myself in time? Not very likely, if you ask me. I wish I had it in me to tell him this, so that he wouldn't be so close when the time bomb finally goes off, but knowing him, he'd probably just shrug it off anyway. Mokuba can be more stubborn than me when he wants to. 

Aside from him, though, I have had no experience with this mystery called love. According to some poor fools, though, one could be in love for years, and never even notice it, perhaps even believing they hate the other person. More nonsense, of course; why, by that logic, I could be in love with that annoying puppy dog, Wheeler, and I most certainly am not! There is not one thing about him I can stand, actually; I hate his stupid grin, his messy hair (honestly, are combs that expensive?), his lack of dueling skills (which he thinks are better than mine. Please.), his eating habits (more suited to a pig than a member of civilized society), and most of all, I hate that uncouth, vacant accent of his! Does he have to broadcast the fact that he's gutter trash to anyone in earshot? 

Okay, so maybe I'm a little obsessed, but that doesn't mean I love him! If you're obsessed with someone's faults, isn't that more characteristic of hatred? I won't deny that to people with much lower standards of beauty, he might pass for attractive, what with those glittering golden eyes of his, and that lean, toned physique, not to mention his strong, if often misguided commitment to almost everyone... What am I saying? I hate the guy! Don't I? 

Reluctantly, I drift away from the frozen window, letting my fingertips trace the ice patterns one last time before flopping down on my overlarge bed. I wonder if my soul looks like that window; frozen, with so many facets that anyone who tried to understand each one would undoubtedly meet with certain failure. Sleep tugs at my mind, and I attribute my disturbing reverie to exhaustion. As my eyes slide closed, the ghost of the ice patterns dance across my eyelids, and I see something more to the analogy. 

Not even the most detailed ice pattern can render the window completely opaque. 


	2. A Heart Of Stone

Hey again, all! Thanks to my 8 reviewers for their time and energy, which they spent so selflessly on my newest attempt at writing! glomps reviewers Anyone who reads and doesn't review for whatever reason, though, rocks too! glomps other readers too So, without further ado, let's go on to the thank-you's... 

SecretSoul: Thanks for your encouragement! Don't worry, I have loads of ideas for this fic, and thank you for your feedback! I hope you keep reviewing, and enjoy this chappie! 

Cherry: Wow, you really think I write well? Thank you so much! Also, thanks for reviewing "Near You Always", I really hope to hear more from you! Hope this chappie satisfies you for a little while; I know it's short, but the next one will be longer, promise! 

DaughterofDeath: Thanks for reviewing; I'll do all I can to keep the chapters coming! 

Blue Lagoon Loon: LOL, I love your pen name! Thanks for the compliments, and catch you (hopefully) later! glomps 

Lizzie: Hey, girl! I'm so happy you reviewed my new story! Yeah, Joey actually makes an appearance next chapter, LOL, so don't freak. I think this story's mostly about Seto, in any case, but I think I might write one like this from Joey's POV.... what do you think? See you later, and thanks again! 

Angel-Belle: Thanks! This is my first time writing angst, so... yeah, glad it turned out well! Hope this lives up to your expectations, and I'll talk to you soon! 

Ranma Higurashi: Darn right I'm gonna call you cute!!! glomps Kagome Aww, of course I remember you! I'll do the best I can on both stories for great reviewers like you, promise, and I hope you like this chapter! 

Tessabug: Thanks for your review, I appreciate it! LOL, don't worry, I'll always be a fluff writer first, this is just an angsty story that came into my head and forced me to write it, so... and plus, S/J is the best!!!! Aw.. I love Ignigena, he's so cute!!! glomps Ignigena I worked really hard on that line; it's good to know it came out well! Hmm.. about where you live, I'm working on it! Wish the weather was better, in any case! The title's from a Holly McNarland song, also called "The Ride", and it doesn't really mean anything yet, but a future chappie'll be a songfic to it, so it'll all come out then! If you really can't stand the suspense (I know I couldn't), then look up the lyrics, and I'm sure you and Ignigena will be able to piece it all together. Anyway, hope you like this chapter, and in case you're wondering, chapter 19 of Near You Always is well underway! Later! 

Warnings: No yaoi in this chapter... quite angsty, but that's about it! 

Disclaimer: Guard-chan doesn't own YGO! (I HATE these things) 

*** 

Chapter 2- A Heart Of Stone 

My hand slaps the snooze button on the alarm clock heavily, putting an end to its high-pitched buzzing. The sting of contact jars me just the slightest bit awake, and with a great effort of will, I drag myself to the washroom and turn the shower onto full cold. _Staying awake all night might have been a better idea,_ I reflect as the water chills me to the bone. _For one thing, I wouldn't be so damn drowsy._

Shivering slightly, something I would never do in the presence of anyone else, I dry off as quickly as possible before tossing a few papers into my briefcase, along with my laptop and a book to pass the time in that drudgery they call school. Finally, I throw my dark blue trench coat over my shoulders. Despite its weight, I enjoy the feel of it. Although I'd never admit this to anyone, this coat is a tangible reminder of my barriers against the outside world; unnecessarily cumbersome, but all the more functional for it. Somehow, just knowing those walls are in place makes me feel safer, if not any better about my "life". 

I grunt a quick greeting to Mokuba as I stride into the dining room and take my place at the head of the table. One of the servants has already placed the newspaper and a mug of black coffee at my place, and I tilt the scalding liquid back into my throat, gulping down half of it before setting the cup back down and flipping to the business section. As I do so, my eyes meet Mokuba's worried gaze. 

"Are you all right, big brother?" he asks. "Don't tell me you were up all night again!" 

"Of course not, Mokuba." It's not a total lie. After all, I did get a good hour and a half of sleep. 

My little brother doesn't seem convinced in the least, but he's lived with me long enough to have learned when to drop what. For a fleeting moment, it saddens me that this child whose development and protection is my responsibility has to censor himself for my benefit. That emotion, however, like all others that I have experienced in the course of my life, is quickly scoured away, this time by the rest of my hot coffee, leaving only the same, hollow emptiness that I have lived with instead of a heart for my entire young life. _To feel is to be weak_, I remind myself, and the familiar words have the tone of a mantra; recited each day until they lose all meaning. _To survive in this world, I must be strong. To weaken is to condemn us both to a hell worse than this._ I look at Mokuba, pushing his breakfast around his plate thoughtfully. Perhaps, at least, I can save him in return before I self-destruct. 

I rise from the table, tossing the business section on top of the rest of the paper. Right on cue, Mokuba drains the last of his orange juice, and as I pass him his backpack, he wraps his arms around my legs and gives me the tiniest squeeze. 

"I love you, Seto," he says innocently, and I yearn to reciprocate. Try as I might, however, the words will not pass my lips. It's as if they refuse to be said unless I believe them absolutely. Instead, I rest a hand in his ebony mane and gently extricate myself from his embrace. 

"Let's get going." I call back over my shoulder as I walk out to the car parked in the drive without looking back. A muted sniffle reaches my ears, but I decide to fool myself into thinking it's my imagination, or possibly that Mokuba's just coming down with a cold. I'm getting better and better at this denial thing as time goes on. 

"Coming, big brother," I hear him call as I clear the walkway, gliding over the ice gracefully, the same way I do everything. Strange, isn't it, that someone with such a chaotic soul can be so physically buoyant? 

I hardly spare the chauffeur, who's holding the limousine door open for us, a glance as I slide into my usual seat. Mokuba climbs into the seat across from me, but says nothing, preferring instead to take out a textbook and pretend to study for a test that I know he doesn't have. I don't blame him, though. After what just happened, I wouldn't want to talk to me either. 

*** 

Okay, I know it's really short, but I wanted the school thing to have its own chapter. Please R/R, and I swear, the next chappies will be longer! Ja ne! 


	3. Dirty Sunshine

Hey all! I know I promised a long chapter, and this one is about twice the length of the previous ones, so... yeah, I think I delivered! ~_^ Once again, thanks to all my reviewers for their time and effort, and to all the readers who don't review (provided there are any). I love you all! glomps readers Without further ado, on to the thank-you's! 

Kaneda-Shotaro and Yami Tetsuo: Thanks! I hope you enjoy this one as much as you did the last; I really worked hard on it! 

babygurl: Heya, princess! I'm glad you like this story, because your opinion means a lot to me. Thank you for your patience, your compliments, and your all-around sweetness. Love ya, and catch ya soon! 

Angel-Belle: The Mokuba thing was a tough call, to be sure. Still, though, I wanted to reinforce Kaiba not being able to love anything, since he doesn't really know what love is. The story hinges on Kaiba's discovery of love and its power, and I felt that it might be strange to have him say that he loves Mokuba without really believing it, since to me lying is a worse offense than anything the truth might bring. Anyway, hope that made sense, and I hope to see more of your reviews! Later, Angel! 

Lizzie: Thanks for answering that question for me; once The Ride is done, we're going into Joey's story! I'm happy you think I'm an awesome author, you're an awesome person to keep reviewing my stories so faithfully. Thanks for everything, Lizzie! 

Blue Lagoon Loon: LOL, neither can I. Thanks for the compliments, they're much appreciated. It's nice to know that the little things don't go unnoticed, so thanks for reviewing and letting me know they don't! 

Cherry: Thank you! I'm so glad you have confidence in me, and I'll keep working hard to earn that confidence. It's reviewers like you that make all of this worth it... thank you from the bottom of my heart, as corny as that is, LOL. 

Tessabug: LOL, dang, I hate when that happens, especially to your reviews! Well, anyway, the part I read was cute, and I look forward to the next review (hopefully complete). Later, 'Bug! 

Daisy and Nuva: Hey you guys! LOL... I bet this angst is more Nuva's speed, huh? Don't worry, D-Chan, things are gonna be just fine, although perhaps not yet...sweatdrops Anyway, read on, and tell me what you think! I value your reviews and opinions! 

Disclaimer: Guard-chan no own! 

Warnings: Angst, one punch thrown (LOL), Kaiba bashing basically everyone... I think that's it! 

Chapter 3: Dirty Sunshine 

As usual, I'm the first to arrive in class. My aluminum briefcase hits the floor with a familiar thud as I sit down in my seat, as far from the front of the room as I can possibly get. Yet another symptom of my complete and total isolation from the world around me, I suppose. Any shrink would have a field day dissecting me. Let them try; I'm about as good at mind games as I am at Duel Monsters. I'd send them to their own psychiatrists. 

Not long after I settle in, Yugi and Yami walk in, trailing none other than Joseph Wheeler behind them. The tricolor-haired boys pause in their animated dialogue to stand before my desk, obviously expecting me to acknowledge their presence. One would expect them to realize by now that I have no interest in pursuing a friendship with them, or anyone else for that matter. 

The midget cracks first. "Good morning, Kaiba," he ventures pleasantly. I hate the way he looks at me with those wide, innocent eyes. That syrupy voice of his isn't exactly my favorite sound in the world, either. 

  
I glance up derisively. "Good morning," I return curtly. Unconsciously, I sit up just the slightest bit straighter in my chair. 

Apparently, my tone doesn't meet with His Highness' approval. "You will apologize this instant for being anything less than civil to my hikari, Kaiba," the spirit growls, and those deadly crimson eyes blaze with an untapped anger, the sight of which I am sure has sent lesser men to their knees, kissing the Pharaoh's feet and begging his forgiveness. Unfortunately for Yami, I'm not lesser men. 

"Make me," I challenge, setting down my book calmly. For a moment, I really believe he's going to try and strike me, but then Yugi latches himself to his dark side's arm obstinately. Too bad; it would have been fun to put Yami in his place for once, and I feel more than a bit angry with Yugi for denying me the chance. 

"Don't, Yami," the little pacifist is saying, "I'm sure Kaiba didn't mean anything by it." 

This is the final straw. The day I accept help from Yugi Mutou, especially with his precious Yami, is the day that I tear up my Blue-Eyes and fall on a kitchen knife. Actually, that second one might not be too far off at this rate. _Wake up,_ I chide myself. _ This is most definitely not the time to be wallowing in depression._

I pin Yugi with my coldest, iciest glare, and I think I can actually see him shiver under its power. "The last thing I need or want is some parasitic runt making excuses for my actions. Are we clear?" 

His gaze drops down to the floor, and he shuffles off to the desk in the center of the front row. "Crystal," I hear him reply. Satisfied, I sit back down and continue reading, as though nothing had happened. 

Yami looks at me, and his nails dig into his palm hard enough to draw blood. "Kaiba..." he growls, and I can see the ghost of his third eye appearing on his forehead. 

I smirk, knowing how devilish I must look. "You'd better go see if Yugi's all right, don't you think?" I remind him. 

The spirit of the Puzzle turns around, just in time to see his light's shoulders shake violently, the other boy's head already resting on the desk. His ruby gaze flicks between me and his Aibou, and with an angry grunt, he stalks to the front of the room and cradles Yugi to his chest softly. Pathetic. 

At this display, the only thing I feel is an all-consuming sense of triumph. I've just alienated for life the only person who speaks to me anymore, aside from Mokuba, and hurt him badly in the process, and yet I feel no guilt, no remorse. I know I should, but I just don't. What does that say about me, I wonder? Am I so far gone that I am numb to any emotion but cold, empty, satisfaction, and even then only at times when I should be feeling something completely different? Am I that broken? 

"Kaiba." The voice behind me jars me out of my thoughts, and I turn to face the blond guttersnipe, whose presence had completely slipped my mind. His eyes are just the slightest bit narrower than usual, his entire body tensed. Yet another self-righteous loser spoiling to give me a lecture. 

"Shouldn't you be at the obedience school across the street, mutt?" I give a snorting laugh. "Oh, but don't they charge by the hour? Guess you can't afford it, then." 

For some strange reason, I completely fail to see his fist coming at me until it connects with my jaw. His strength, coupled with the vehemence behind the blow, send me staggering into the desk behind me, totally off balance. My sapphire eyes narrow; nobody touches Seto Kaiba and gets away with it. Especially not Joey Wheeler. 

Just before I can mount my own counterattack, though, the nosy bitch of a sensei arrives. Her eyes go from Yugi, leaning against Yami with red-rimmed eyes, to me and Joey obviously facing off. I know my face must be sporting a flaming red mark right about now, and I am also aware that she's not at the right angle to see it, especially in this awful lighting. With any luck, her idiot pride will lead her to believe that she came in at just the right time to avert the beginnings of a fight. 

"Is there a problem here?" Why do so many people have annoying voices today? Hers sounds like nails down a chalkboard, and I suddenly want to hit her even more than I do the mutt. 

"Not at all, sensei." The glint in those golden eyes, the spark of victory as he turns his back on me and walks to his seat, I will never forget. I burn the memory into my soul, letting the hatred, the anger, the desire for revenge suffuse me. I will bide my time, and when my moment arises, he will rue the day he ever had the nerve to turn his back on Seto Kaiba. With a growl so low that only I can hear it, I take my seat once again and flip open my book, although I have no intention of reading. 

As the sensei begins her lesson on something I would have been able to teach at five years of age, I begin to plot my revenge against that lower-than-dirt mongrel. Quickly, I rule out physical torture; it's far too good for the likes of him. No, this will have to be something emotional, something that will shatter his spirit, a wound that he will carry with him the rest of his life. How, though, am I going to come across such an opportunity? 

My eyes bore into the back of his head with an intensity that could pierce steel. I watch him scratch his head confusedly, sharpen his pencil three times, and crumple up two mangled sheets of paper, both covered in scribbles that I suppose must be his version of writing. I will make my own opportunity. He must have a weakness; once I find it, I can exploit it, and turn it from a vice into his destruction. 

Content with that plan, I lean back and stretch my legs out as I go back to reading my book. _Your days are numbered, Joseph Wheeler_. 

*** 

A few days later, I'm reorganizing my already immaculate locker for the thousandth time. I am still no closer to finding a weakness to exploit, but I remind myself that it's only been a week. Things like this take time, or as the cliché puts it, 'Rome wasn't built in a day'. Years, months, days... whatever it takes, the result is all that matters. 

I hear someone clear their throat next to me, and slam my locker shut to find none other than Yami himself leaning against the adjacent storage space. "Can I help you?" I demand, hefting my briefcase. "I haven't got all day, you know." 

"So I've heard." His eyes shone with an emotion I couldn't quite place. Perhaps he thinks to avenge the pain I inflicted on his light that morning? Key muscles in my body tense, ready to attack or block a surprise offensive in a heartbeat. 

However, Yami doesn't do anything of the sort. He simply sighs and folds his arms across his chest, over the Millennium Puzzle. "Kaiba, I challenge you to a duel." 

A duel? Now? He can't possibly be serious. There's only five minutes until class begins. "Don't you think your timing's a little off, Pharaoh?" 

"Not now." comes the frustrated reply. "Tonight. At Tristan's house." 

"Why there?" I glare at him cautiously, crimson and azure clashing for dominance. If he lies, I will know it. There is no one alive that can lie convincingly under my cold stare. 

"He's having a party, and my hikari and I are forced to attend." He's not so much as blinking. Perhaps he's telling the truth, or simply waiting to start lying in an effort to throw me off balance. It's not going to work. "I would leave it until the next day, but unfortunately my schedule isn't cooperating. I don't believe yours would be too flexible, either, but I've checked with your brother, and he says you are free tonight." 

Damn him for being so well-prepared. "What's the catch, Yami?" 

"The duel will be recorded, and the winner will receive the tape as his prize," the spirit explained. "At least three television stations have expressed an interest in airing an all-star duel such as this one. Whoever wins not only has bragging rights, but the power to humiliate the loser before the entire television audience of a major network." He grins at me, daring me to refuse, to turn tail and run like the coward he thinks I am. 

This could be a very dangerous proposition. If I lose to him, he'll get the tape aired as payback for what I said to Yugi. If I win, though, my reputation as the number one duelist will be secured, globally recognized once again. With an end to our stagnant rivalry at hand, how can I possibly refuse to go for it? 

"Does Yugi know about this, I wonder?" We both know I'm stalling for time, but Yami answers gracefully. 

"No. I didn't tell anyone until I was sure you'd accept." 

Carefully, I nod. "I'll meet you at Taylor's for eight o'clock." I say as I turn around, my coat billowing out behind me. "Don't expect me to wait for you should you be late, but don't bother being early." 

As I walk to class, another side to the situation occurs to me. Wheeler's going to be at that party. This could be the perfect chance to catch him off his guard and finally uncover that elusive weakness of his. 

I settle down into my seat and take out my duel deck, fishing out the three Blue-Eyes White Dragons, staring at them passively. I have long since memorized every single detail of every single card in my deck, but seeing my precious dragons calms me somehow. They are the embodiment of what I have always wanted to be; strong, powerful, and most of all, immovable. For all my achievements, that is something that still eludes me; the power to resist change, the opportunity to stagnate. Some days, I wish life were as simple as these three cards; never changing, never moving, compact enough to fit in the palm of your hand, but intricate enough to hold your attention for years. Most days, however, I just don't think about it. 

With a sigh, I put the cards back into my deck and slide it back into the hidden compartment under the lid of my briefcase. Tonight, I know, is going to be one for the record books. One way or another. 

*** 

I'll try to get chapter 4 out ASAP, don't worry! I have a few ideas, but it might take a while to pull them all together, so bear with me, okay? Thanks for your understanding, and please review!!^_^ 


	4. The Ride

Hiya, everyone! Thanks for all the great reviews; I appreciate each and every one of them! This chapter is dedicated to Cherry, who's reviewed all three previous chapters and who's said some really nice things... thank you so much for your kind words, it is indescribable what you and all the other reviewers mean to me when you say that you actually like my story! Okies, onto the thanks! 

Lizzie: LOL, your exuberance is totally kawaii, right up there with Yugi, Mokuba, and Serenity doing puppy dog eyes! ^_^ Thank you for being such a faithful reviewer; I hope you enjoy the duel scene, as well as the rest of the chappie! 

keira maxwell: No character death in the works as yet, keira! I'm doing the best I can with the angst, but it sometimes seems more funny than anything, LOL. Sorry about the wait between updates, but with only 2 hours on the comp a day and two stories to write, it can be hard to balance, as I'm sure you understand. Laterz, and I look forward to your next review! (BTW, still like those plushies? ~_^) 

D-Chan: Well, at least now I have a fic for each of you; Near You Always for Daisy and The Ride for Nuva! Thanks to Nuva for her compliments on Seto's character; you have no idea how hard I work not to have to put OOC on this fic! Hope you both get some enjoyment out of this chapter, and see you later! 

Blue Lagoon Loon: LOL, yeah, you're right, it is amusing! Kaiba has a way of being more amusing than threatening at times.. strange, I think. Thanks for your review; this author-type person is gonna keep "rawking on" as you put it as long as she has her fans! Later! 

Tessabug: I've been working on it, but I have no clue where you live! I am officially giving up as of now, relinquishing the protection against flamers... (cries). Thanks for your review, I love you for it! Don't worry, you had nothing to make up for, as you put it, but I'm glad for the long review! Next chapter features Seto's master plan... I'm sure you're gonna like it! Hope to hear from you soon, and thanks for making me laugh with your kawaii reviews! Love you lots, 'Bug, and Ignigena too! (huggles Ignigena and 'Bug) See ya, guys! 

Cherry: This chapter is dedicated to you, so I hope you enjoy it a lot! Sometimes, one feels sorry for Seto, but at others he's just a jackass. ^_^ If you ask me, he's just sexually frustrated... 

Seto: I resent that! 

Guardian: Hey, watch your tone, or next chapter, you'll be in a hula skirt with one of those flower necklaces! (strokes her new author-power staff) 

Seto: You wouldn't dare! (whips out cell phone and cycles through address book until he comes to "Hit Men") 

Guardian: (waves staff, cell phone turns into a bouquet of flowers) Now, for the finishing touch... (Joey appears). 

Joey: Wow, those flowers for me, rich boy? 

Seto: Wrong story, mutt. (tosses flowers over his shoulder) 

Guardian: (runs forward) I caught the bouquet! Yes! In your face, YGO girls! 

Seto: That only works at weddings, baka. 

Guardian: Oh right... Sorry for this randomness, Cherry! Hope you got a laugh out of it, though! Hope to hear from you soon, and thanks for the ideas; if you come up with any others, let me know! 

Daughter of Death: As you can see, I took your great advice! ^_^ Thanks for reviewing! 

Ranma Higurashi: Of course you're still cute! (huggles Ranma Higurashi) Thanks for reviewing at all, and I hope to see one for this chappie! 

Starfly: Yeah, but keep in mind I've been writing fluff longer than angst! Thanks for reviewing; the next chappie of Near You Always should be on its way soon, but in the meantime, enjoy this! Later, Starfly, and I hope you keep reviewing both stories! 

krad: Aww, thanks! I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations; please let me know whether or not it does! Thanks for your review, and I'll catch you later! 

QueenOfGames: I impress you? Wow, thanks, Queenie! Just for that... (hands Queenie a copy of the tape) Here you go, enjoy! I hope you like the duel scene, as well as the rest, and I also hope you keep reviewing! It's reviewers like you that make it all worthwhile... thank you. 

Seto no Jou Sueshijuu (Silver): Can I just call you Silver from now on? Your pen name is so long, LOL! I love your reviews; they make me laugh and cry at the same time! Off-subject is okay, LOL, when it's that kind of off-topic! Thank you for being such a great audience and a great person; I hope my reviews meant half as much to you as yours mean to me. Love ya, Silver, can't wait for your next review! 

babygurl: Last, but certainly never least in my book! I know you've been a bit down these past days, at least I think so, so I hope this perks you up a bit, even though it's angst! Thank you as always for being the amazing person you are, I love you to death! (huggles Hema) No matter how bad it gets, I'm right behind you. I'll always be your yami, remember? LOL... talk to you soon, and love you lots! Laterz! 

Warnings: Angst, yaoi... the usual, I suppose. BTW, the parts in / / denote song lyrics. 

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. 

Chapter 4: The Ride 

I arrive at Taylor's house at precisely 8:01, just to spite Yami. The house itself isn't a palace by any means, but it's not a shack, either; two-story, three bedroom house, painted in some awful shade of green that looks like that time Mokuba ate green Jell-O while he had the flu. Exactly what I would expect from one of Yugi's painfully average, middle-class friends. 

Before the driver has a chance to pull away, I tap on the passenger side window, and he rolls it down nervously. "Yes, Mr. Kaiba?" he says. 

"I want you back here in an hour to pick me up. You're late, you're fired." I order, and wait for his answer. 

For a brief moment, my chauffeur tries to decide whether or not he should bring up the fact that he was supposed to be off work two hours ago, or perhaps the equally pertinent fact that he's not getting any pay at all for this extra time. In the end, though, he nods slowly. "Whatever you say, sir," he says as he switches the limo into drive and returns to the mansion. Perhaps not all hired help is completely stupid. 

I knock briskly a few times, trying to make myself heard over the music inside, but finally give up and try the door. Mercifully, it's unlocked, and I step inside, brushing a nonexistent speck of dust from my trench coat as I do so. Immediately, I realize two things; Tristan's parents must be out of town, and somebody's done a lot more than just spike the punch, since half the guests are passed out on various pieces of furniture and the other half are dancing drunkenly around the living room. I step over the shards of what used to be a very cheap lamp, dodge the advances of at least three drunken girls in clothing more suited to whoring than anything respectable, and shoulder my way into the kitchen before I catch a glimpse of Yami's familiar hairdo. The former pharaoh is tapping his fingers on the table impatiently, his eyes fixed on the wall clock, and this scene brings a smirk to my face. I love knowing that I've gotten to him. 

Crimson orbs flick up at me as my briefcase slams down on the table. "You're late," my opponent accuses. 

"I never said I would be on time, only that I wouldn't wait for you if you were late." I slide my duel deck free from its pocket and set it down. "It's not my fault if you were unable to interpret it correctly." I cut my deck and shuffle briskly, drawing my starting hand. Yami does the same, and I win the coin toss. 

_Get ready to lose_, I glare as I draw my sixth card and Yami turns on the video camera resting on a tripod next to the table. _With so much at stake, I certainly won't._

__

__*** 

Thirty minutes later, I allow myself to relax just the slightest bit. The duel's been fought with equal vehemence by both of us, but now, at last, it seems that my victory is assured, even though Yami's five hundred life points are more than double my own pitiful two hundred. It was worth it, though; I have just managed to get my Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon onto the field, and my great beast is facing a pathetic Mystical Elf in defense mode and Yami's omnipresent Dark Magician, powered up with a Sword of Dark Destruction and a Book of Secret Arts. The pharaoh also has his Yami field card in play, giving his mage a total of three thousand four hundred attack points. 

I can win this duel right now, I realize as I draw a card. All I have to do is destroy his Dark Magician, and I'm the victor. My eyes search his side of the field; no face-down cards, absolutely nothing save his two monsters and their power-ups. I am about to declare the winning attack when something stops me in my tracks. 

Once I've won, I'm going to have this duel aired, of course. How much more humiliating it would be if I dragged out Yami's defeat, though. I would be able to watch my opponent's hope shatter as he draws a useless card, turns his Dark Magician into defense mode, and resigns himself to his fate. How great it would be to watch his shoulders slump ever so slightly in defeat, as I destroy his favorite card with my Blue-Eyes and wipe out the rest of his life points with one of the weaker monsters that I have in my hand, meant to be used for tribute purposes only. As the fantasy draws to a close, I decide to make my dream a reality. 

"I destroy your Mystical Elf," I say, and Yami's crimson eyes snap up to stare at me. "You heard me," I continue impatiently. "Your Elf's gone, and it's your move." 

My opponent nods, placing the female monster at the top of his graveyard pile. I notice his eyes glaze over just the slightest bit; he's communicating with his hikari, as he frequently does during duels. His hand rests on his deck, and he draws the top card, eyes shut tightly. I watch triumphantly as those fiery eyes crack open just the slightest bit, but instead of the fear, anger, or resignation I expect to see reflected in their depths, I see a look of triumph that mirrors my own. _Impossible,_ I think to myself, _He must be bluffing. There is no way in Hell that he could possibly have drawn a card powerful enough to destroy my Blue-Eyes. Not at this precise moment, when he needs it the most._

__

Nevertheless, Yami sets his hand down, save for the card he just pulled. "Good game, Kaiba," he says, and the superiority in his tone makes me want to kill him, "but it ends here." Then, grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat, he sets his De-Fusion card down right next to his Sword of Dark Destruction. For a moment, I stare in disbelief, one word engraved upon my mind. _No._ This can't be. I was winning! I was beating him! He can't do this to me! 

"Kaiba." The sound of his voice jars me back to my senses. "Your dragon?" 

Growling deep in my throat, though not loud enough that the camera would pick it up, I remove my Ultimate Dragon from the field and replace it with the three Blue-Eyes from my graveyard. Now, it is I who is in the position to lose, I who must stare defeat in the face and not blink. I won't grant him the satisfaction of knowing just how deeply this is going to affect me. I swear on my dragons, I will not so much as flinch under this defeat. 

"Now, Dark Magician, destroy one of his dragons and end this duel!" Someone needs to tell Yami that we're no longer playing with real monsters. He doesn't have to shout out his commands anymore. Just as well we're playing with cards, however; I don't think I'd have been able to resist the urge to have my Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon incinerate the overconfident royal pain. 

As though I were carved from stone, I sweep my cards from the table and put them away, rising from my seat and turning towards the living room, where the number of drunken dancers has been halved in the time that it took for us to duel. Behind me, I can hear the sound of Yami ejecting and pocketing the tape, and I can practically see the grin on his face, the one that I had pictured myself wearing not thirty seconds ago. Hearing that muted noise, I know what death must feel like. At least the emotional side of it. 

Without making a sound, I find a relatively clean spot on a sofa in the far corner of the living room and sit down, lowering my briefcase to the floor and glancing around. There are more people than I thought still dancing, but none of them seem to be paying attention to me, or anything else for that matter. I watch Yami cross the living room without looking back, camera bag slung over his shoulder and the tape clenched in his hand tightly. The sound of the door opening and closing reaches my ears, and to my credit, I last a whole five seconds before my facade crumbles, and I lean back with a grunt of frustration. 

Stupid Yami, and his damned heart of the cards bullshit. I had everything before he showed up with his pesky aibou and little circle of groupies. I had money, power, and most importantly, glory. Glory for something other than the old man's company; glory for my own talents as a duelist. I suppose I shouldn't have let it mean as much to me as it did, but after being called worthless for losing one measly pawn in a chess match that I went on to win, taking beatings from my adopted father just to protect Mokuba, and never being able to have friends because my superiority made me so unreachable to anyone that they were never motivated to try to get to know me, can you blame me? 

That's not entirely true, though, is it? Yugi tried to bridge the space between us, between me and the rest of the world. And like the loner I am, I shot him down, probably planted the seeds of what will grow into a great inferiority complex in his impressionable mind, and reveled in the act. I have worked toward becoming this ruthless, this cold, my entire life, but now that I've achieved it, I no longer know why I wanted it so badly in the first place. 

_To feel is to be weak,_ I recite again. _To survive in my world, I must be strong. To weaken is to condemn both myself and Mokuba to a hell worse than this._ Still, doesn't the only one stronger than I at anything, Yami, feel? Of course he does; his feelings for his light far surpass anything I could ever imagine. How life-altering it must be, to have a heart. Am I right in killing my feelings, or am I just destroying myself further? 

_A heart might be life-altering,_ my cynical mind interjects, _but never forget the one thing the old man taught you; once you start down that path, it's only a matter of time until you lose all control of your life, and crash and burn. In this world, there is no spare time or energy to waste on such a trivial thing as emotion. Isolation has made you rich, powerful, and immovable. What has love ever done for you?_

__

I have lived my life by this rationale, yet now it has lost its power to sustain me. In desperation, I flip open my locket and look at the picture contained within. I stare at my little brother's smiling face, yet all that I see is the shattered look he wore this morning, when I as much as said I felt nothing for him. The sound of his crying, for I can no longer deny that's what it was, assaults my senses. While I was absorbed in my own mess of a life, I have hurt the only person I have ever felt anything but animosity towards and at the same time systematically alienated all who have tried to bridge the space between myself and the rest of the world. During my short life, my fifteen minutes of fame have come and gone; I have hit my dueling peak, and once Yami airs that tape, I will lose any reputation I might still have had as the best duelist in the world. What is left for me but whatever sweet oblivion might wait beyond this filthy mortal coil? 

"Never expected to see ya here, Kaiba." 

My eyes flick up unconsciously, and I see Joey Wheeler standing over me. Immediately, my masks slide back into place, lest he should become aware of just how vulnerable I am at this moment. I'm not very worried about that eventuality, though; the mutt's face is flushed, his clothes are disheveled, and his normally clear golden eyes are bloodshot. The aforementioned symptoms, coupled with the fact that he's actually smiling at me, are more than enough for me to deduce that he is well and truly drunk. 

"What do you want?" I growl. Ignoring me completely, the blond drops down on the couch beside me, much closer than I would think propriety calls for, and judging from the stench on his breath, it's a wonder that he's still able to stand upright. _How ironic that a dog would have a better constitution than a roomful of humans_, I observe, yet even that fails to amuse me. 

"I gotta want somethin' to talk to ya now?" If I thought his accent was awful before, it's absolutely unbearable now. I'd throw out one of my usual 'gutter trash' comments if I thought it would get through to him at all. 

"If you must know, yes." I reach for my briefcase, deciding that I would prefer to wait outside in the bitter cold for my chauffeur than to spend one more minute in the company of this drunken canine. To my surprise, though, his hand closes around my wrist with a strength that should be beyond someone at this stage of inebriation, and he gets up, once again towering over me. 

"C'mon, let's dance," he says, and I'm vaguely aware that a relatively slow song is playing. _He can't be serious_. 

"No way," I reply, bringing myself up to my full imposing height. The puppy doesn't seem to be daunted in the least, though; quite the opposite, in fact. His hand is still around my slender wrist, and he drags me out into the middle of the living room, leaning against my chest and swaying like a boxer who's taken one two many punches 

My hands fall to his shoulders, but just before I push him away, I remember the second reason I came to the party. _While he's drunk... this is the perfect opportunity to find something damaging that I can use against him._ Mustering all of my willpower, I force my hands back down to my sides, glancing around. Thankfully, we're the only ones still around and/or awake. As I take a deep breath to steady myself, a different song begins to play. It's not exactly to my taste, and I don't care for the singer's voice, but I listen anyway, for lack of anything better to do while I'm standing here acting as a pillar for the damn mutt. 

_/Did I make you wanna dance?_

_ Sitting here by myself_

_ Was it a small war out there?_

_ Are you gonna look at me in the morning?/_

Without warning, my quote-unquote dance partner's knees buckle, and I catch him reflexively, immediately wishing I hadn't. He giggles and throws his arms over my shoulders to steady himself. 

"Looks like I'm fallin' for ya, Kaiba," he chuckles, and I force myself to return his smile. This is an interesting turn of events. Unless that was a joke, or a slip of the tongue, I could be on to something... Still holding him up with one arm around his waist, I go back to listening to the music. 

_/She's still so down,_

_ Waiting for you_

_ He's fallen asleep, should we wake him?_

_ Are you gonna kiss me back in the morning?/_

__

For the second time in as many minutes, Wheeler stumbles, but my arm prevents him from falling. "My hero," he murmurs, and before I can even anticipate his next move, his lips are on mine, the pungent aroma of alcohol now worse than ever. 

I can't believe this. My body refuses to move. I just stand there, paralyzed as his tongue begins to probe at my closed mouth. _This has gone far enough_, I finally decide, and push him down to the floor angrily. The shock takes the rest of his energy out of him, and his head lolls to the side as he sinks into unconsciousness. 

I retrieve my briefcase, dragging my forearm across my mouth, wishing I had some soap, or better yet, disinfectant. Before I leave, I check that he's all right; the last thing I need is him filing a lawsuit for criminal negligence on my part if he really is injured. His pulse is a little quicker than normal, and he's going to have a few bruises in the morning, but nothing else that I can see. Satisfied, I stride over to the door and pull it open, letting a gust of wind into the house. The whine of the wind isn't nearly enough, though, to drown out the music, playing on despite whatever might happen around it. 

/She drove all night, is she gonna get there soon? 

She drove all night, is she gonna get there soon? 

She drove all night, is she gonna get there..?/ 

*** 

_Joseph Wheeler, with all the ammunition I now have against you, you're going to be lucky if I haven't put you in a mental ward by next week._ That thought warms me as I stand in the cold, drawing my trench coat around me with one hand and closing the front door with the other. At least now, there's one more thing I have to do before I can die in peace. 

The limo pulls up right on time, my driver yawning widely. "Please excuse me, Mr. Kaiba," he begins. 

"Save it," I say as I slide into the luxury car and watch Tristan's house fade into the distance. Already, the beginnings of a plan are taking shape in my mind, and the idea itself is so fiendish that the mere contemplation of it thrills me with an anticipation more intoxicating than any drug.  


_I suppose sometimes, we really do hand over the tools of our own destruction to others all too readily, without even realizing it,_ I muse as I lean back and stare at the crescent moon hanging in the sky. _And what a glorious destruction this will be indeed._

*** 

Okay, the song was, obviously, "The Ride" by Holly McNarland. The chapter would have been longer, but I didn't really want to get into the whole plan thing, and plus, I wanted to update! ^_^ Please review, and I'll catch you all when chapter 5 comes along. For those of you who read Near You Always, I'm starting chapter 21 tonight! Later, all! 

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	5. Quicksand

Here you go, guys; Chapter 5! I'm glad I got such a great response for Chapter 4... thanks! ^_^ Sorry once again for the delay; between being uninspired, and trying to write a billion other things, and reading this book as "summer homework"... yeah, not a lot of time to play with here. Near You Always' next chappie isn't even started, just as an FYI to those who also read that, but I'll have it up as son as I can, promise! This chapter is dedicated to Firewing, a 'new' reviewer who I've come to respect in the process of reading her reviews. Thanks for taking the time to R/R my humble fics, it means a lot! (and that applies to all of you!!!!) On to the personal thanks! 

babygurl: Hey, girl, what's up? Thanks for the boost as to my dueling skills and for just being your all-around encouraging self these days; I needed it, and you were there the whole way, which is more than I can say for everyone else in my life, so thank you for all that! I've definitely tried to leave a piece of my depression in this chapter (and as such get it outta my system) ~_^ but tell me what you think, okay? As always, I value your opinions. Love you, Princess, and ja ne! 

Kay and Fantasychick: LOL, I agree, drunken Joey is hilarious! Enjoy the chappie, although it's quite short! 

D-Chan and Nuva: Phew, thanks for letting me know I got Seto right in this fic, Nuva! ^_^ Glad you're both enjoying the story so far; don't worry, Seto gets back on top of things in this chapter! Thank you both for your great reviews; how'd the driving test go, D-Chan? I just know it was great! (thumbs-up) Take care, you guys! 

QueenOfGames: The first of many nails, Queenie! ~_^ LOL, glad you're enjoying the tape, and thanks so much for your cute reviews! They make me laugh, and when I'm happy, I write, so.. yeah, good cycle we got there! ^_^ Enjoy this chappie, despite the shortness, and I'll catch ya at Chapter 6! Laterz! 

Silver: You have no idea how long I agonized on that dueling scene, LOL. Since I also play the YGO card game, that kinda made it easier, but not by much... originally, I was toying with the idea of writing the whole duel, and while that might have been interesting to read, it would have taken a disproportionate amount of time to write. In hindsight, though, I could have taken two decks and dueled against myself, but since I don't have an Ultimate Dragon OR a De-Fusion... yeah, exactly. ^_^ It's a rush that someone actually takes the time to print out my stories, although that must take like a whole lotta ink! Thanks for that booster, though, Silver. 

I love your reviews; they're so... long, and interesting, and a lot less random and insane than mine! ^_^ Please keep writing; I love your stuff, and it's so totally inspiring to me! Thank you for being a great audience, Silver, and an even better person. Good always comes back, and get ready to drown in it! ^_^ Much love, and ja ne! 

Bug-Chan: I hope you DO enjoy Seto's plan... it's the first part of this disturbingly short chapter! Thanks for offering Ignigena's services to toast flamers; Diamond, bless him, doesn't have wings, so it might take him a while to find them. ^_^ (pets sleeping Diamond) Don't worry, I still love ya! I can't wait to read your fic; I'm like checking my e-mail five times a day looking for it! Thank you again for the honor of being your beta-reader (bows) and I promise not to disappoint, either in writing or in beta-ing! Love ya, Bug-Chan, and catch ya later! Enjoy the chappie! 

Blue Lagoon Loon: I agree, Kaiba can be so vacant, slowwitted... oh well, he redeems himself in this chapter! Enjoy, and I hope to get another review from you when you're done! 

Cherry: Yep, us strange people just have to stick together! (wraps an arm around Cherry) I'm glad the dedication meant so much to you, and that you like the story enough to put it on your faves... thankies! LOL, if I ever need the Fork of Ultimate Doom, I'll be sure to call you! (looks over at plotting YGO bishies) Might be sooner rather than later.... (gulp) I hope you like the evil master plan, and the next chap of NYA is in the works, don't worry! 

kimi no vanilla: Thank you! I've tried to keep Kaiba as true to the original as I could, and it means a lot that I succeeded! Thanks for taking the time to tell me that, and if you're still reading, I'd be interested to hear any comments you might have on this chappie, or the story in general! Laterz! 

DaughterofDeath: Wow, you're still with us? Thanks for being such a faithful reader/reviewer! I hope you enjoy this chapter; although it's short, I think it's high in the quality department! ^_^ Lots of love, and catch ya later! 

Ancient Angel: Thank you for the encouraging words! They mean a lot, as do everyone's! I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations, and hope to see another review from you once you're done with it! Laterz! 

Starfly: OMG, are you serious?! Thank you so much!! I was proud of that chapter, and I haven't been able to say that for a while, so thanks for letting me know that it really was good and not just my wishful thinking. ~_^ Enjoy the chapter, and NYA should be coming along in a while! Love ya, Starfly! 

Firewing: This chapter is dedicated to you, in case you missed it! LOL, don't feel bad; anime is easy to get hooked on! Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, and for the little anecdotes about your personal life, as well as your insights into the characters! I agree with everything that you said about Seto's character, especially in relation to Mokuba. It seems to me like he's just lost sight of his little brother in his lust to get the God Cards, since ignoring Mokuba doesn't really jibe with the whole Duelist Kingdom thing and what he went through to get Mokuba back. However, that could be attributed, as you said, to his pride; nobody steals from Seto Kaiba and gets away with it. Good observations, for sure! Thanks again, and I look forward to the day that you post your own story on FF.net. I can't wait to read it! ^_^ Laterz! 

Ranma Higurashi: I totally agree, he's for sure evil here! I hate Seto, personally, without his NYA makeover, but he was perfect for this idea, so... yeah, no OOC warning in sight here! Thanks for your reviews, and catch ya later! 

Shadowy Fluffball: Well, I don't know that this qualifies as 'soon', but it IS an update! ^_^ Hope you enjoy! 

Princess Razu: Thank you! It's always nice to know that I succeeded in getting Kaiba down, so thank you for telling me that. I hope you still think this story is awesome after this chapter... laterz! 

Angel-Belle: I know, isn't that annoying! I've started cheering for whoever's against Yugi/Yami in the show, since they're always gonna win anyway. LOL, they probably keep their good cards in that neck buckle or something! Thank you for your review, and I hope Kaiba's plan isn't too evil for your taste. Laterz, Belle! 

Warnings: Same as usual, I suppose. 

Disclaimer: Oh, please... again?! Fine, Guardian doesn't own YGO! (pouts) 

Chapter 5: Quicksand 

I finally set my pen down ten minutes before six, taking a moment to admire my handiwork. It took an entire night, but I believe I've finally gotten the first phase of my plan down perfectly. This strategy could sink a genius, so it's quite safe to say that the mutt won't know what hit him. 

On the desk before me lies a letter addressed to Joey Wheeler, telling him how I've loved him for ages but never had the guts to act on it, for fear of rejection. I laugh at the irony of it all; me, Seto Kaiba, afraid of rejection? Who would ever reject me? I'm all that anyone could possibly want; rich, powerful, hotter than Hell. Even if he resists at first, he won't be able to help being drawn in. No one ever does, once I turn on the charm. 

Who would ever dream it was so easy to get people to believe you're something you're not? Feed them a few clichés about your fears, your hopes, dreams, problems... whatever they need to hear, and they don't even stop to think about who they're dropping their guard for. In the end, everyone falls for one mask or another, and once I'm done with them, I cast them off to the side like the trash they are. 

Oh, but by the time I'm done with Wheeler, he'll be begging to be drained and cast aside. He'll wish that's all I did to him, and no more. At least that, he'd eventually recover from. But this plan... it's so diabolical, I'm surprised I don't have any moral objection to it. To be perfectly honest, though, I'd be surprised if I had any morals, period. 

The plan, if you haven't figured it out by now, is quite simple, really. I'm going to make the puppy fall for me, so hard that he'll be completely lost to any reason where I am concerned. Then, once I'm sure he's trapped in my web, I'll cut him loose, tear his heart to shreds, and break him from the inside out. It's a completely foolproof plan; even if by some chance he should actually survive it with some shred of his spirit intact, I can always let him see me with one of those all too eager whores that would fuck me just for bragging rights. Nothing can possibly go wrong; I've got every eventuality covered. 

_ I wonder if he's going to kill himself,_ I think to myself as I slide the letter into an unremarkable envelope, seal it, and write his name across the front before tossing it into my open briefcase. I certainly hope he does. I've found misery loves company, and once the mutt's gone, his friends should have misery in spades. Not that I'll be around for very long after, though. 

Once my lust for vengeance is sated, after all, what else am I going to stick around here for? Certainly not Mokuba, or Duel Monsters. Thanks to Yami, I've completely lost my reputation as World Champion, and after yesterday morning, I doubt Mokuba would even want to give me the time of day. I have no other family, and less friends. In my absence, someone else will run Kaiba Corp. No matter how hard I try, I can't think of anything else worth one more second on this dismal planet. 

As I fish my school uniform from the closet, I contemplate how I'm going to do it. Pills and booze? That has possibilities, I suppose. Slash my wrists in the bathtub? No, far too feminine, and slow. I don't want time for second thoughts. A gun, then? Hmm.. Mokuba would probably find me, and I don't want to subject him to that. He's paid enough for the crime of loving me. That's out too, then. 

Tossing the blue shirt and pants onto the bed, I grab a quick shower, mentally going over my itinerary once again. I have to get to class before the mutt, so that I can get the letter onto his desk without being caught. That shouldn't be a problem; he always runs in under the bell if he's not with the midget, and I can beat either of them to school any day of the week. 

Even if he does read it during class, nothing will happen until lunch; he's got recess detention for mouthing off to the sensei when she started chewing him out for not having done his homework since.. well, ever. He'll definitely have read it by lunch, though; Wheeler's not known for his patience. However things turn out, he'll be searching for me at lunch hour, that much is sure. 

I always eat on the roof; nobody else ever bothers to go all the way up there. He'll find me eventually, though. That's one of his few good qualities; persistence. He'll find me, and then... then, I'll have to wing it, I suppose, since I have no fucking clue how he's going to react. Shouldn't be too hard, though; he's quite predictable, especially when he's off-balance, and what I can predict, I can counter. 

I dress quickly and take up my briefcase as I walk out the door. I'll have to drive myself to school if I hope to get there on time, I reflect as I force myself to bolt down a quick breakfast. Mokuba's seated on one of the kitchen counters, staring intently into his bowl of cereal, loath to make conversation after yesterday. I don't blame him; after getting burned like that, I wonder how long it would take me to open up again. _Don't worry, kid_, I think to him as I start up the Mercedes a few minutes later. _I'll be gone just as soon as Wheeler is._

*** 

My plan goes off without a hitch; I beat the mutt and his friends to the school by a clear ten minutes, at the very least, and get the letter onto his desk without anyone noticing anything amiss. It's touch and go for a while, however, as it takes him a full ten minutes to actually find the damn thing, and by the time he does, it's time to get to first period already. I wish I could have seen the look on his face when he opened it, but then again, it might have been annoying to see him staring at me through an entire class. Not uncomfortable, mind you, just annoying. 

He's slower than I gave him credit for; I have time to eat, do two assignments and half of another before he finds me at lunch time. His hair's a mess, his face totally flushed, and my letter, hardly recognizable, is crumpled in his hand, and he thrusts it out at me without so much as a salutation. 

"What the fuck is your damage?" he demands of me, and I laugh inwardly at his impotent rage. 

"I'm sick of hiding what I truly feel for you," I recite, turning my face away from him to stare out towards the harbor, just as I would if the letter was genuine. Is it any wonder I got the highest grade in my drama class? 

His lack of self-control is painfully evident as he sputters, searching for a reply. "You..." he begins, unable to finish his sentence. "You, ice-cold, black-hearted Kaiba... loves me?" 

Oh, so we're at this stage of the game already, are we? He's more gullible than I thought. "I believe the letter speaks for itself." 

I'm surprised to hear him scoff; he certainly does change gears quickly. "I don't believe it." I hear the sound of the wadded-up letter striking the ground and the noise of his sneakers scraping against the gravel covering the roof as he turns to leave. 

This is it. Gotta make him believe this. Composing myself, and forcing something resembling emotion to bleed out from behind my masks, I glide over to him and grab his arm with an urgency I by no means feel. If he doesn't fall to this, he'll fall to another of my plans. "Please... please wait." I say, with a desperation that most Academy Award recipients would be unable to exhibit on demand. Useless things, trophies; if I had one, I'd toss it in the first Dumpster I could find. Only insecure people need tangible reminders of their victories to feel good about themselves. 

He turns, and his eyes begin to search my face for something, anything, that would prove all this is a lie. I hold my breath for an agonizing few moments, until his gaze goes from angry and guarded to soft and yielding. "You're serious, aren't you?" he says, as though trying to convince himself of that fact. 

"Yes," I reply, fighting to keep the act up and not use this opportunity to attack him while his defenses are down. Patience is a virtue. "I mean every word, Joey." 

He bites his bottom lip, and his eyes stray off to the side. I can tell he's trying to decide what his next move should be. Either way, it doesn't matter one bit. If he doesn't fall now, he'll fall tomorrow, or the next day. It has been my experience that people have an infatuation with those things which look too good to be true, and that being the case, all of them are drawn to me inexorably. 

"I don't know," he says at length, and the venom is gone from his voice as he looks up into my eyes, expecting me to deliver an ultimatum. 

Well, I didn't expect him to fall into my arms, as he did last night, did I? _Honey over vinegar, honey over vinegar...._ "Take your time," I say, ignoring the flare of impatience that explodes in my chest. Every moment he delays me is another I have to spend alive and in this forsaken darkness that defines my existence. However, I refuse to go into oblivion quietly, and if I ever hope to take him down with me, I'll have to hold off my avarice long enough to draw him to the cliff before trying to push him off. That being as it is, what else can I do but swallow my impatience and frustration and settle in for the wait? 

"Thanks," he answers, backing away slowly. "Uh... well, later, Kaiba." With that, he bolts for the stairs, escaping the soon-to-be awkward moment. I lean against the chain-link fence that circles the rooftop, allowing myself the tiniest of smiles as I pick up the letter and smooth it out as best I can. Flipping open the lighter I always keep in my pocket, I set it on fire, tossing it to the ground as I pick up my briefcase and stride over to the stairway, not even bothering to glance back at the pile of ash that I know is all that remains of the first step of my plan. Like so many other things over the years, it has served its purpose and must be destroyed. 

I try not to think too much about the fact that this defines my own life just as well as the burning letter. 


	6. Willful Blindness

Hey, all! I'm sorry to all those of you who read NYA, but I've decided that it's probably best to finish this one first, since it's not going on very much longer (sorry to all those of you that like it!). Thank you all for your great reviews; this chapter dedicated to Tessabug, one of my longest-running reviewers, who's in the process of writing her first fic. Keep at it, Bug-Chan! We're all behind you 500%!!! Okay, on to the thanks! 

Cherry: How'd ya guess? ^_^ About the plot questions... sorry, answering them would spoil the surprise, non-cliché ending!!! Love you for your great reviews/comments/enthusiasm, and P.S., STRANGENESS ROCKS!!!! ^_^ 

Kay and Fantasychick: (fishes Seto out of piranha-infested pool) You girls can kill him after the fic's over, I need him now! (smacks Seto upside the head) Don't think that means I forgive you for hurting Joey-kun, though! Oh, right, thank-you's! (drops Seto back into the pool) Thankies for your funny reviews; although they're short, I love 'em just the same! Laterz! 

Shadowy Fluffball: Okay, at least it's a little more prompt, if not altogether quick. You know, it takes time to get the evil genius persona right! ~_^ I'm glad you're still enjoying the fic, and hope the same can be said after this chapter! Thanks, and ja ne! 

Ranma Higurashi: Sorry, but the sad truth is that that's who Seto really is... until you stick a personality upgrade on him! Yeah... but since I wanted to avoid OOC, that's reason for the evilness ^_^. I like it, personally; gives me a chance to get some of my darker emotions out.... why else write first-person POV? LOL... thankies for all the reviews (huggles Ranma Higurashi) and I'll catch ya after this chappie! Later! 

eep: Great to hear it!!! LOL, your name's so cute, I love it! Thanks for taking the time to let me know that you enjoyed it; I hope this chapter is more of the same! Laterz! 

babygurl: Hi, Princess! (hugs Hema) Boy, you really don't like evil-Seto, huh? Don't worry, the story's gonna be over soon, and then it's full speed ahead with the fluffy NYA! LOL, tell me about it; poor Kaiba would be the one wondering what hit him if you two had a mind-games contest! Thank you for your reviews, and your friendship, both of which mean the world to me... love you, Princess! (huggles Hema again) See ya on MSN! 

D-Chan and Nuva: Where's my award?!?! (cries) Just kidding, you guys! Your reviews are all the reward I need, believe me! (hugs D-Chan and Nuva) Thank you for the praise, Nuva, it means a lot coming from someone who seems like she knows her angst; sorry, D-Chan, but Joey's a necessary casualty of this fic... don't worry, though, he'll be fine when the next chap of NYA comes around! ^_^ Thanks again, guys; later! 

Ancient Angel: Wow, you know other ppl who read my story? YAY!!!! ^_^ Thanks for the compliments and the encouragement; I put a lot of effort into the plot, and the ending... OK, enough said. (zips lips) LOL, be sure to tell me what you and your friends think of this one, okay? Ja ne! 

keira maxwell: You can do it, Keira! Just write, and worry about quality later on! Trust me, I know it'll be amazing. Thank you for having faith in my writing skills... sometimes it feels like I can't write anything good, so reviews like yours really get the chapter out a few days sooner than it would normally be! About the death part... can't tell you, sorry! Would defeat the whole purpose of a "surprise" ending! ^_^ Don't worry about not reviewing right away, I forgive you! (glomps keira) Laterz! 

Bug-Chan: Hey, if it isn't our authoress-to-be! ^_^ Thanks for your anything-but-irritating e-mails, and for the honor of being your beta reader once again! Take your time with the fic, and please don't be afraid to ask me anything if you get stuck or whatever, okay? I know it'll be amazing whatever you do! Hmm... I agree, Seto's character is scary, but he's actually hilarious if you're the one writing it! ^_^ I know that doesn't help you much.. oh well, I tried, LOL! Hope to see a review from you for this chapter, love you lots, and later! 

Angel-Belle: I totally agree, although would that be fair to the poor shrinks? I mean, they'd be so broken... ^_^ Glad you're still with us; please keep reading/reviewing! 

Firewing: What's up? Thank you so much for the Kaiba-suicide idea!!!!! It really made a lot fall into place for me, so thanks! How am I gonna pull this off? Hopefully, very well! ^_^ Thank you for your compliments and ideas, both of which mean so much, and the more people that are sickened by Seto's warpedness (I know that's not a word), the better I've portrayed his character! ^_^ Thanks again, later! 

Lizzie: He's annoying you? Bad Seto! (smacks Seto) Well, the fic's not going to be too much longer anyway, so you don't have much farther to go! Hope this satisfies your curiosity for a while; laterz! 

Starfly: Thank you! That line just came to me, so I stuck it in... yeah, not much of a story there! ^_^ We'll see if you can predict the turnout; I wouldn't be too sure! Thanks for your confidence, as always, it means a lot! Love ya! 

Katmon =^.^= AKA Okusama KK: Phew, did I get that name right? LOL, thanks for your equally cute review; I'm always glad to see a new reviewer! Hope this chapter meets with as much satisfaction as the last one! Be sure to let me know, OK? Laterz! 

Silver: I was wondering when you'd show up, girl! ^_^ Don't worry about imitating my stories; as long as you're not copy-pasting it, I don't care! Thank you for your encouraging words; glad I was able to help you through your writer's block, and believe me, you do the same for me a lot of the time! If it weren't for your review, the last section of this chapter never would have been written! So, on behalf of all the readers, thanks! ^_^ Reviews much longer? I might hold ya to that! ~_^ Love ya too, Silver, and ja ne! 

Warnings: Usual warnings go, guys! 

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, never will. 

Chapter 6: Willful Blindness 

He avoids me as though I have the bubonic plague for the rest of the day; no insults, no projectiles flying across the classroom at me, not even one of his vacant glares. I suppose that I should be enjoying the peace and quiet, but my impatience makes it impossible for me to concentrate on anything but the advancement of my life's final goal. If that letter doesn't work, I'm going to need a contingency plan, and advance preparation can only help me in that case. 

As I cross the parking lot to my car, I'm still so absorbed in my plotting that I don't notice him leaning against the hood staring at me until I'm less than ten feet away. "Hey," he says, offering a halfhearted grin. 

Damn. No time to compose myself. _Come on, all those business meetings must have taught you something about improvisation. Say something!_ "Hello," I reply at length, and his low chuckle reaches my ears as he realizes just how many million miles away I was. 

"Zonin' out, Kaiba?" He asks as I toss my briefcase into the back seat of the Mercedes, and ordinarily, I would have rearranged his face for that comment. _Must stay in character_. 

"Was there something you wanted, Joey?" I return, and it takes all of my considerable willpower to keep my tone amiable, not to mention remembering to call him by his name instead of one of my many canine references. 

I never imagined that such an innocent question could so put him off balance, but evidently it did. His confident air disappears, and he stares at the ground, unconsciously biting one fingernail. To his credit, he catches himself almost immediately, folding his arms across his chest as I look on with an amusement I don't find myself having to feign. I think I hear him mutter something, but I can't be sure. "What was that?" I ask, keeping the smile from my face. Of course I know exactly what it was. 

"I have feelings for you too!" he shouts, and suddenly conscious of how loud his voice is, he glances around the deserted parking lot in a manner more suited to owls than dogs. Thankfully, we're the last ones still here; he's bad enough when he's not embarrassed. Satisfied that nobody else heard that outburst, he locks his eyes with mine, and suddenly I realize what all this window to the soul bullshit is about. His normally clear honey orbs are clouded with fear, apprehension, and I detect a hint of relief at finally getting his feelings out in the open. If I take advantage of this vulnerability, I can hurt him right now and be done with the charade, but the damage probably won't be permanent. Not good enough, then. 

That decided, I need an answer, quick. Well, time to put that old cliché about actions and words to the test. Clearing the distance between us in the time it takes him to blink, I pull him into my arms and touch my lips to his ever so lightly. I hear a muffled yelp of surprise before I feel his arms around my neck, his lips caressing mine with just the slightest bit of urgency. My tongue darts out quickly, like that of a snake, demanding entrance, and he yields completely to me. 

I smile against his mouth even as our tongues begin to duel. _Joseph Wheeler, you're mine_. 

*** 

To my mild surprise, it takes his friends an entire week to realize that we're together, and another weekend to decide that they should interfere. We're eating lunch up on the roof when the Scooby Gang finds us; Yami and that annoying Tea girl leading the charge, Yugi, Tristan, and Ryou bringing up the rear. Of his sister, Serenity, there's no sign, something I find quite strange. If anyone could break my spell, it would be her. Are they so overconfident as to think they stand a chance on their own? And here I thought they would present a threat, however minor, to the fulfillment of my plan. 

"Joey, can we talk to you for a minute?" the midget asks. 

"Alone," specifies his other half, shooting me a glare that I think is completely unfounded, but that I return anyway. It occurs to me that he hasn't aired the tape yet, and I wonder why. Surely he wouldn't be that patient with it, would he? 

"Not a chance," the mutt replies, holding my hand in a death grip. "Anything you can say in front of me, you can say in front of him." 

Oh, this is just too perfect. He's that gone after a week and change? _You give your heart too easily, puppy. That will be the death of you._ I should have started a cult; seems I'm pretty good at this brainwashing stuff. Oh well, too late now. At this rate, my life's being measured in weeks, not years. 

A few feet away, Taylor sighs and pushes his way to the front of the group. "Joey... come on, wake up. Kaiba's your worst enemy, remember? And now you're... with him?! What's the deal?" 

"We're all very worried, Joey." puts in the albino boy, and I find his accent annoys me more than usual right now. 

"Please, Joey..." begins Yugi, and my eyes narrow a fraction of an inch. If anyone stands any chance of convincing him that I'm bad news, aside from his sister, it's the parasitic little cherub over there. "I hate to say this, but Kaiba's poison." He looks over at me in apology, but turns away as he remembers the last time he tried to be nice to me. "What I mean to say is..." 

"Oh, for Ra's sake, stop sugarcoating it!" Hmm, this just might the first time Yami's ever yelled at his precious light. Yugi's shoulders slump, and he begins to stare at the floor, sadly. "Joey, Kaiba's obviously playing some twisted game with you, using you for something. That... monster," he spits the word like a curse. "...is incapable of human emotion. You must realize that." 

"That's enough, you guys!" The mutt's on his feet, still holding my hand, and I stand as well. "Kaiba and I are in love. Why can't you just be happy for us? Is it that hard?" As a gesture of complete defiance, he pulls me down to his level and kisses me with all the passion he can muster. His back is to his friends, so I open my eyes just wide enough to catch their reactions. Ryou and Tristan are both completely defeated, torn between interfering in their friend's life for his own good or letting him make his own mistakes. Yugi's clinging to Yami, the pharaoh's outburst evidently forgotten for the moment. Only the Gardner bitch seems to be ready for an encore, striding up to us bravely and tearing Joey from me, spinning him to face her. I always knew she was stupid, but this could kill whatever seed of doubt they might have already been planted in his mind. Humph... not like I'm gonna stop her from helping my cause if she really wants to. 

"Joey, listen to us!" she cries in that shrill, nails-on-a-chalkboard voice, and everyone except for me cringes. "We're your friends! Friends know best, and we know you don't exactly have the best track record for decision making. Don't you remember all those bad decisions you made on Duelist Kingdom? What about the time you took on Duke to save your pride and wound up in a dog suit? Now, you want to get together with Kaiba, your worst enemy? Come on, stand back for a second and think about what you're doing!" As though her outburst hadn't done enough damage to their mission, she slaps the mutt across the face, hard. "Wake up, Joey!" 

I watch as his eyes blaze with a fire that I've only seen on rare occasions, when he's fighting for something he believes in. Angrily, he rubs at his cheek, where a red mark is already taking shape. "You listen to me, okay, Tea?" he growls. "I've had more than enough of your airhead cheerleader crap to last a lifetime! It's no secret you think I'm stupid, that I can't take care of myself without you guys holding my hand, but I'll be damned if I'm going to give up my chance with Seto just because you guys are paranoid!" His use of my first name doesn't go unnoticed by anyone. _Oh yeah, definitely gone_. "If you were half the friend you claim to be, you'd butt out and go fix your own mess of a life!" 

That's taken the wind out of her sails, to put it mildly. Just as defeated as the rest of them now, she turns and shuffles back to the others, who immediately start heading for the stairs. All except the midget, who comes up to me alone and begins rummaging in his backpack, eventually taking out a small glass case. _ Is this what I think it is...?_

"I don't know just what you're trying to do," he whispers, low enough that his best friend can't hear him, "but please, stop it. It's not too late." With a small nod, he pushes the case into my hand and runs off to catch up with the rest of them. 

The mutt comes over a few moments later. "What'd Yug' want?" he asks, and although he might not be happy with any of them, there's a certain note of tenderness in his voice at the mention of the shorter tricolor-haired boy. 

I open the glass case, and a tape falls out. "He wanted to give me this," I say in disbelief, turning it over in my hand. It's definitely the right size for that camcorder Yami had that night... but why? It hits me a few moments later; a peace offering, so that I wouldn't go through with my plan. _Smooth move, Yugi, but I'm not about to back down._

Pocketing the tape, I put my arm around him, forcing myself to smile. "You called me Seto back there." I say, and my voice is so sweet I think I'm going to be sick on the spot. 

He grins shyly. "Do you mind?" 

"Not at all, pup." _It means that my plan's working like a charm_. 

I watch as he sighs contentedly, burrowing into my side. I'll let him twist in the wind a while longer before I cut him loose, I think. After all, it's only been a little over a week. Who knows just how far he can fall given a little more, and the farther he goes, the more painful the final blow's going to be. _Nothing can stop me now._ _He might as well just lay down and die right now instead of waiting for me to shoot him like the dog he is._


	7. The Truth

Hi all! Thanks for sticking with the story this far! (hugs readers) First, there seems to be a problem with the reviews; the first wave didn't show up on the site, but don't worry, because I got them all in my e-mail, so it's all the same I guess. ^_^ Second, and I'll put this in the warnings, this makes the rest of the story look like fluff, so the rating has gone up to reflect that. 

This chapter is dedicated to D-Chan and her yami, Nuva, two faithful reviewers that have been around since the early NYA days. Thanks! Okay, here come the personal acknowledgments; sorry if they're out of order, blame the review problem! 

Cherry: Thank you so much! I don't really have time to read other fics, but it's pretty bad if people are saying the quality is going down... perhaps I should give a writing class? LOL... this is the second-last chapter, so enjoy! I'll get to work on the next one shortly! 

Ancient Angel: LOL, thanks for reviewing twice! I did get your first one, but as I said in the author notes, it didn't show up on FF.net. I'm really happy everyone who reads this story loves it so much; makes it worthwhile writing! Tell your friends to enjoy, and you too of course! ^_^ 

Silver: Hey, girl! (hugs Silver) LOL, thanks so much for your encouragement; believe me, your reviews mean so much to me, I can't express it. Yeah, Seto's a bastard, but since I was avoiding the OOC thing... yeah! Be warned in advance, this chapter is DARK... but try to enjoy anyway! ^_^ 

Emme: I figured this story would be more your speed, if you couldn't last all the way through NYA.... Enjoy this chapter, and don't worry; you're not the only one that thinks it's crazy/wrong. 

babygurl: Heya, Princess! ^_^ Thanks for your review, even after you told me what you thought on MSN. I appreciate it, and I love your particular brand of 'sense', don't worry! Love you back, and I hope this chapter doesn't traumatize you too much... laterz! 

Katsumi-chan: New reviewer? Yay!! Can't spoil the plot, sorry; but you'll get your answer if you keep reading! I hope to hear what you think through another review, okay? Thanks for your first one, in any case! ^_^ 

Ranma Higurashi: Again, plot questions I can't answer! Just read the fic, though, and all will be explained... (Twilight Zone voice) LOL, just kidding. Enjoy! 

ssjmiraitrks: Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it; I love your name, BTW! I hope you like this chapter too; be sure to let me know, okay? ^_^ The POV was just a whim that happened to turn out well, LOL, and the characterization was just a lucky accident, really... well, later! 

Blue Lagoon Loon: Well, if evil's your game, then this chapter should be right up your alley. ^_^ Can't reveal the plot, so I guess you'll just have to keep reading then! Laterz! 

Firewing: And I won't answer it, don't worry! You'll find out soon enough; next chapter is the last one. Thank you for telling me that I do angst well; your opinions mean a great deal to me. Hope you enjoy this chapter, although it's much darker than usual... handle with care, okay? ^_^ 

ILOVEIT: LOL, don't worry; I put a lot of sarcasm in it, so laughing isn't exactly a bad thing... means I did my job right! Thanks for your cute review, and I love your name as well! ^_^ Later! 

Angel-Belle: Another one who reviewed twice! That's really sweet... thanks, 'Belle! Yeah, I've tried to stay as faithful to the anime and manga as possible... to see if Kaiba ever turns around, check out this chapter and the next one, which should be up sooner rather than later. Thank you so much for your kind reviews.. enjoy the chappie! 

keira maxwell: Aww, come on, everyone likes surprises! Thank you for your great reviews that always seem to make me laugh, and don't worry; since there's only one more chapter to go on this one, NYA will be updated sooner than you think! ^_^ Enjoy the chapter; hope it's not too dark for you! Later! 

Shadowy Fluffball: Well, blame the creators of YGO, not me! I'm just following their character design! If you thought that was sad/cruel... well, prep yourself for this chapter, cause it's worse! Later! 

D-Chan and Nuva: Hey, girls! This one's for you two, since Nuva loves the angst so much, LOL. D-Chan, you can take comfort in the fact that this fic won't be going on for very much longer, one more chapter only, so I'll be back to writing NYA-style fluff before you know it! Enjoy this chapter, guys; though it might be too dark for D-Chan, I'm sure Nuva will love it! 

Bug-Chan: LOL, glad the dedication's helping you fight off that writer's block of yours! If Seto was scaring you before, well, let's just say he's worse here. In fact, this chapter drove the rating up to R, so... you know, you don't have to send me the entire fic at once. If you like, I can read what you have so far, fix whatever tiny errors there might be, and give you a few ideas! It sometimes helps to have someone do that, just to get things rolling, so if you want, I don't mind at all! Love you lots, Bug-Chan... hope to hear from you soon! 

Joeysgirl: If you thought he was bad before... (shudder) I feel bad for Joey too, but that's the fic, I suppose. Hope you like this chapter anyway, and feel free to hit Seto if you want! 

Li: LOL, I'm so glad that you love the fic! Thank you for your great review; while I don't think you're a masochist, I'd read this story at my own risk. ^_^ Later! 

Lizzie: Sorry, you can smack him if you want! I update as often as I get inspired, and reviewers like you help me get the chapters out this fast, so thank you! ^_^ Enjoy the chapter! 

fox: Thank you for all the reviews on NYA: I think you're enjoying it at least, LOL. Wow, one of the most interesting? Let's see if you think so after this chapter! Later! 

RavenWings: Thank you so much! Your encouragement means a lot to me, so thanks! I did my best with Tea/Anzu, so I'm glad she came out realistic! Hope to hear what you think of this chapter! 

Starfly: I don't see it as reducing Tea to bitchdom.. after all, wasn't she the good guy in this, trying to save Joey from Kaiba? Granted, her methods left something to be desired, but she was really concerned for him, so she wasn't thinking straight. If that's bitchy, I think I need to look that word up. ^_^ Enjoy the chapter, and thanks for reviewing! 

Warnings: Here we go: reference to sex, suicide, blood, emotional shattering... all in all, a pretty sick chapter. Do not ask me what possessed me to write this, but you've been warned! All flames will be met with extreme prejudice! 

Disclaimer: I'll bet they're glad I don't own them, or the show would not be fit for children! 

Chapter 7: The Truth 

It's been two months since that afternoon, and with each day that passes, he stumbles deeper into my web. Even now, as I type madly on my laptop, trying to meet a project deadline, he's curled up against me, his eyes closed, the slightest hint of a smile on his lips. I watch him from the corner of my eye, reveling in the complete power I now hold over him. _It won't be long now before my plan comes to fruition,_ I tell myself, trying to appease my impatient nature even as I glare at the mutt clinging to me as though I were his favorite chew toy. 

Still, though, the time I've spent with him hasn't been as awful as I thought it might be. He's sweet, caring... charming, even, in a faithful pet sort of way. I've even come to appreciate his particular brand of beauty, to the point where I almost enjoy kissing him. Almost. He's still gutter trash, and a loudmouth besides, although watching him fall for me, truly for me, not for my money, my power, or my good looks, has been a singular experience. 

He hasn't fallen for me, though. Not in the strictest sense of the term, at least. He's fallen for my masks, a completely fabricated person, and he hasn't even questioned it once. It's just as I wished; he's in love beyond reason with a person that he thinks is Seto Kaiba. My plan has gone off without a hitch. Why, then, do I feel so empty? Shouldn't I at least feel that perverse satisfaction that comes from destruction, from revenge? 

Don't get me wrong, I don't love him. Not in the least. I am incapable of love, and every other 'good' emotion, for that matter. My heart is buried with my adoptive father, and I've never once missed it. I am the Ice Prince, Seto Kaiba, the man without a conscience, without the capacity to feel anything other than satisfaction and hatred. I nod once, and the movement, small as it is, jars him awake. 

Like some overgrown weed, he wraps his arms around one of mine, preventing me from typing as well as I would like. "Seto..." he says, "Can you just call it a night?" 

"Why?" I ask, a little too curtly. I can afford some tactical errors at this point, though. 

He doesn't seem to notice, just rummages through that green jacket of his and pulls out a little rectangular box, placing it behind him where he thinks I won't see it. "It's our anniversary," he replies. "And I've got something for you." 

My curiosity, along with my desire to avoid complicated excuses for my behavior later, drives me to save my work and close the laptop computer. "Okay, what is it?" I say, turning to face him and forcing myself to smile the tiniest bit. 

Nervously, he thrusts the box out to me. "Happy anniversary," he whispers, and I wonder why he's so apprehensive about me opening some stupid box. Probably some cheesy gift from the thrift shop... 

I tear the ribbon with one firm tug and claw the wrapping paper into shreds before tossing the trash to the floor. Ribbons and pretty paper are such a waste of resources to me, but he seems to thrive on them. I wonder if your love for shiny things is inversely proportional to your IQ. That would explain an awful lot. 

As I lift the lid of the box, I feel his nails dig into my upper arm. What could be so... hmm, this is interesting at that. Carefully, I lift the mutt's Red-Eyes from the box, turning it over in its protective plastic so that it catches the light and sparkles dance across the holographic rendition of the obsidian monster. I hold in my hand my prey's most prized possession, given to me willingly, and I have to fight the urge to laugh out loud at the absolute success my plan has met with. 

Suppressing the fit of laughter, I lean down and kiss him chastely, like I can tell he wants to be kissed right now. The movement of my lips on his is devoid of any passion, any lust, anything physical. To me, of course, it's devoid of anything, but to him, I know it feels like I'm returning his physical gift with a reminder of my 'love' for him. Such is the power of the denial I have harnessed. 

I pull away from him once a polite amount of time has elapsed, brushing my lips against his cheek for good measure. "Thank you," I say, and he swallows hard. 

"Uh..." he stammers, fumbling for words. "Seto... that's only the first part of my gift." 

Only the first part, huh? I wonder what he's going to do for an encore. Patiently, I sit back, moving the card to a safer place. "I'm listening," I say, forcing my voice to thicken as though I'm in the grip of some powerful emotion. 

He replies by pulling me back down and forcing his tongue into my mouth, his hands sliding up my shirt and gliding over the firm planes of my chest eagerly, yet nervously. His eyes flick open, locking with mine as he breaks our kiss, panting slightly, and with a rush of devilish glee, I realize what he's offering. 

I drag him over to the bed, this time taking control. He doesn't resist as I renew our kiss, tackling him to the mattress with a ferocity that surprises both of us. Our lips part for a split second as I all but tear off my shirt before settling my weight over his slightly more slender form. 

Neither of us have time for more coherent thought before we're both lost in the twin haze of desire and passion. 

*** 

I awake well before he does, easily disentangling myself from his embrace and heading for the upstairs washroom to shower, unwilling to chance him awakening too soon. Once I've washed away any physical traces of last night's 'activities', I return to my room, dress, and lean back in my desk chair, looking at his Red-Eyes disinterestedly. His prized possession, the catalyst for my plan's fulfillment. I love tragic irony, especially the tragic part. 

It's another thirty minutes before he stirs, and ten more before his eyes crack open slightly. I wait, in no hurry to finish things. If one can't be patient on the last day of their life, then when? These are the last moments I will be able to savor before the void; I want them to be perfect. 

"Mornin', love," he murmurs contentedly, sighing as he sinks back into the nest of pillows beneath him. 

"Isn't it funny how stupid people can be?" I begin, and confusion clouds his features as I twirl the Red-Eyes between my fingers, just slow enough so that he can discern what exactly it is. A smile crosses his face as he sees me holding his gift, obviously thinking that this means that I treasure it as he would. He'll learn soon enough. 

"This card is a token of our love," I say, allowing just the slightest bit of sarcasm to seep into my voice. He doesn't notice the subtle variation in tone, and his smile breaks into a full-fledged, lovesick puppy dog grin. Pathetic simpleton. Smoothly, soundlessly, I slide the dragon from its protective plastic sheath and tear it neatly into four pieces before his exhaustion-fogged brain can realize what's going on. 

A split second later, he lurches forward, wincing in a pain strong enough to stop him cold. I don't seem to remember being gentle last night, either. "Seto... what did you do that for?!" 

"It's as I said," I reply, flipping my silver lighter open and setting the pieces aflame before dropping the already curling cardboard into a conveniently placed decorative glass bowl. "This card is the physical token of our love. Now, it might as well never have existed." Leaning forward, I fix him to the spot with one of my most piercing glares. "Our love never did, period." 

I watch his face fall, as the full magnitude of what I've just said sinks in. "You... you never..." I can almost see the flashes of memory crossing his mind; his friends, warning him off me; his hatred for me, that was eclipsed by the love I forced upon him. "Why, Seto?" he asks, and his voice is defeated, exactly like Mokuba's that morning. 

In a flash, I'm upon him, his wrist clenched painfully in my fist. "That's Kaiba, mutt," I spit, and as his terrified gaze locks with mine, I let my masks drop. He gasps and looks away from the wave of darkness that is all I really am at my core. Just a dark, faceless, destructive thing. "You're stupider than I gave you credit for. You're so stubborn, you fell for a person who never existed, just because you wanted them to." I grin wolfishly, and he cringes at the drastic transformation. "How does it feel, knowing you gave everything you had to someone who wasn't real? Your Red-Eyes, your innocence... everything." 

"Monster," he whimpers, clutching my silk sheets tighter around him. Angrily, I rip them off him, leaving his naked flesh exposed to the icy air. Blood cakes the back of his thighs, along with another, thicker substance, and traces of both can be found on the sheets. I suppose 'not gentle' was the understatement of the century. As I make this observation, he curls up around himself, obviously expecting me to hit him. I have much more effective ways of hurting people, thank you very much. 

"You have thirty minutes to get off my property unaided," I say, striding toward the bedroom door. "After that, I will call security." He doesn't move an inch, and no sound passes his lips, although his eyes mist over with unshed tears. As my hand closes on the doorknob, I turn back, almost as an afterthought. "I must admit, though, you were a decent fuck. Perhaps you should become a prostitute and turn a profit for it. That's probably the best an idiot gutter rat can aspire to." The final blow dealt, I leave the bedroom, slam the door, and head downstairs. Might as well grab something to eat while I wait for him to get it together enough to make it out of my house or the time limit to elapse. It's all the same to me. 

*** 

Exactly twenty-six minutes and forty-nine seconds later, by my watch, I hear him making his way down the stairs, grunting in pain with every step. I wonder vaguely how he managed to get dressed, then decided I couldn't care less. As long as he's gone, that's all that matters. 

I wait until he's well away from the estate, watching every labored step he takes across the lawn before I go back up to my room, retrieving my briefcase and dumping everything but my dueling deck onto the hopelessly stained sheets. From my deck, I take out my three Blue-Eyes, throwing the rest of the meaningless cards down among the papers and textbooks. These three, though, I lay out on my desk. Even though I no longer have any use for them, they have served me well over the years, and I can't bring myself to destroy them, nor lump them in with the rest of the trash on the bed. 

Into my now-empty briefcase I toss only a length of rope and an unmarked envelope containing my will before closing it. The tape that Yugi gave me, I crush in my fist easily, tossing the remains on the floor. _Now who's got the last laugh, Yami?_

Taking the lighter-than-ever briefcase with me, I go down to the garage and start up the Mercedes for the last time. The chauffeur could be here at a moment's notice, but if it's all the same to whatever warped entity is running the show, I'd much rather not be driven to my own death. 

*** 

Once I'm in my office, I lock the door, although there's no danger of being interrupted on a Sunday. Placing the envelope where it will be easily found, I push my desk under the light fixture and tie one end of the rope to it tightly before pulling at it with all my strength. The anchor doesn't budge an inch. _Perfect._

Quickly and efficiently, I form a noose of the other end, place it around my neck and adjust it so that it's excruciatingly tight. That done, I take as deep a breath as I can and kick away from the desk into open air. 

Unfortunately for me, my neck doesn't break, so I'm left to swing on the rope as I suffocate slowly. _I actually did it_. I always expected to feel something at this moment, when it was too late to turn back. Fear, perhaps, like Hamlet, for what lies beyond. Regret, for hurting so many people during the course of my short life. Joy, or relief, that it was finally over, and that nothing could possibly save me this time. 

Instead, all I feel is the emptiness; the same damn pervading sense of darkness that I've fought against since I became what I am today. There is no white light at the end of a tunnel for me, no family come to take my soul to the afterlife, and certainly no scenes of my life flashing before my eyes. A flicker of amusement ignites in my mind at the latter, although there is no longer enough breath in my lungs to laugh. How can I see scenes of a life I never lived? 

The darkness creeps into my peripheral vision, and I finally lay down and give into it gratefully, wondering why I hadn't done this sooner. _No matter what plane I wind up on, death has got to be better than this hamster wheel called life._


	8. Shooting Stars and Razorblades

Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay, once again... well, since this is the last chapter of the story, all you NYA readers can rest easy; I'm going to be picking that up again very shortly. This chapter is from Joey's POV, contrary to the rest of the story, so I hope that the character switch isn't too confusing. This chapter is dedicated to Hema, one of my best friends, who's been there for me through the course of my writing and so much more... thank you so much! Now, on to the thanks; 

Ranma Higurashi: Sorry, but I can't answer the questions without spoiling the ending, LOL. I hope you enjoy; although this might be the end of the story, NYA is still going to be updated, so don't worry! 

Hema: This chapter's yours, Princess... sorry I haven't been talking to you as often these days! huggles Thank you as always for your kind reviews, your sophisticated commentary, and your validation of my writing talents; although I don't need it from anyone, I more than appreciate it from you. Thank you once again for being there for me, and I hope I can return the favor one day. huggles again 

Cherry: LOL, I hear you; I wouldn't want to find Seto swinging from the light fixtures anytime soon! Of course, I could bring him back with my author power, but you know, there's the whole trauma factor... Thank you for being there through the course of this entire story, I love faithful reviewers like you! hugs Enjoy this chapter! 

Ancient Angel: Aww, I'm so happy you think that my story rocks... thank your friends as well for their continued readership! I sincerely hope that you enjoy this chapter; it's the closest thing to fluff in the entire story, but don't worry, it's still relatively angsty! ^_^ 

Nuva: Hmm.. well, I'm very sad that D-Chan couldn't take it, although this chapter might actually be more her speed, with quasi-fluff. Glad you're enjoying it, though! ^_^ Tell D-Chan that I'm going to be starting NYA again tonight, and thank you for being so faithful a reader! Be sure to let me know how you like the ending! 

Angel-Belle: FF.net definitely has problems... growls I know that last chapter was totally dark; like I said, dunno what possessed me to write it! Thank you for your continued feedback, means a lot! Enjoy the ending! 

Firewing: I agree, it wasn't that emotional, but I had to have an event-driven chapter to get the story closer to its conclusion... don't worry, though, this one is chock-full of emotion! ^_^ Enjoy, and thank you for the dedication, the ideas, and the thoughtful reviews! I owe ya lots! ~_^ 

Candyland_gyal: Sorry for the delay! I'm sure Candyland is a great place; unfortunately, college starts in 10 days, so I don't have much time to travel! ~_^ Glad you love the fic, hope the ending meets with your satisfaction! 

Saa Ra: Wow, that would have been a good idea! Unfortunately, I'm really stuck on this one... hope you enjoy it anyway, okay? ^_^ Thank you for letting me know I did a good job... it means so much to get nice reviews like yours. Looking forward to it this time around too, okay? ~_^ Laterz! 

Lizzie: More reviews DO usually make me update that fast... unfortunately real life just got in the way! ^_^ I agree, the characterization is pretty decent, if I do say so myself, LOL... thank you for all your feedback, on both stories! Love ya lots, Lizzie! 

keira maxwell: LOL... thank you for your feedback as well! If that one made you cry, then get the tissues out for this one, cause I've been told it's a tearjerker! Glad you're enjoying the story, anyway; laterz, and thank you so much for everything! ^_^ 

Blue-Kool-Aid: Don't worry, I have a sneaky feeling there's a lot more people than you not reviewing, but it doesn't matter. I love you all anyway! glomps Thank you for your encouragement, your feedback, and everything else! Enjoy this chapter, and I hope you can find the energy to review! ~_^ 

ssjmiraitrks: You're welcome for the comment on your name! I hope you love this as much as you loved the rest of the story... looking forward to the feedback! ^_^ Thanks once again, for everything! 

Blue Lagoon Loon: That makes two of us that love Evil... snickering Thanks for your continued support; I enjoy reading your reviews, they always make me smile! ^_^ Enjoy the chapter! 

Li: I know, just writing that gave me shudders... I hope that you like this chapter; it's not as dark, but just as tearjerking! ^_^ This is the end of the story... be sure to tell me what you think, okay? Laterz! 

Bug-Chan: Hey, how are you? Hope your school/writing is going great; you know, I'd love to hear from you periodically, even if you don't have anymore of Morning Song written (although I look forward to that anxiously as well). Thanks for your uplifting comments about my writing/style, I appreciate it immensely, and you're not half bad yourself in that department! ^_^ Be sure to let me know what you think of this, okay? Ja ne! 

Silver: Hehe... don't worry, you're not the only one with the voices in your head. (shifty eyes) I'm not sayin' a word! (curls up paranoid-like) ^_^ I hope you like the ending, and that it inspires you to write another chapter of your S/J fic!!! I mean, that last one was so short... (cries) Okay, I'm good... well, thanks for everything, Silver, and I'm so sorry again that I can't be part of your author notes... hope you forgive me! (huggles) Looking forward to another great review, laterz! 

r*a*d*i*a*n*y: Thank you for your well thought out and substantiated comments. While I think you're way off base, I appreciate the energy you put into trying to tell me that I bastardized both characters. First of all, character interpretation is a subjective thing. Who's to say that Joey wouldn't fall right into Seto's arms at the first chance, especially if he had feelings for him to begin with. Who's to say that he wouldn't be "sweet, charming, and lovely" with Kaiba if he thought that he really loved him? While we're on the subject of Joey's character, BTW, I really don't think I made him an idiot. Picture yourself; handsome billionaire, who you just happen to have feelings for already but always thought was a jerk, suddenly tells you he's had feelings for you too for a while, and everything he's ever done to you was because he was too afraid to admit it. I really don't think many "intelligent" people would put up very much of a fight in that case, although they would be on their guard for a little while, and that's exactly what Joey did; he was on his guard, but Seto played his part so well that the poor guy never saw him coming. 

By the same token, it's not really fair to say that Kaiba hanging himself "doesn't meet with his original personality". As I said above, character interpretation is a subjective thing. While I respect your opinions on the subject, I don't appreciate your trying to force them on me. If I think that Anzu is a bit friendship-ranty, and that Joey would have a fight with his friends over his relationship with Kaiba, and that Kaiba would in fact kill himself, that's my prerogative, and that's how I'm going to write them. I would never tell someone in a review that they got the characters wrong because I didn't wholeheartedly agree with their interpretation, and I'd really appreciate the same courtesy being extended to me. Don't like it? Don't read it! 

I would like to make it clear that, although I don't agree with your opinion, I'm not attacking it. Your viewpoint has its place, and just as much merit as mine. However, whether in fanfics or real life, it might be nice if you made an effort to learn how to communicate your opinions without refuting those that don't share them. Thank you once again for your interest in my fic, and I do hope you aren't too offended by my reply. That was never my intention, I can assure you. 

Kaneda-Shotaro and Yami Tetsuo: LOL, don't kill the star of my fic! (thinks for a minute) Whoops, already did... ^_^ Thanks for the cute reviews; love ya for it, and hope you enjoy this chapter. 

Shadowy Fluffball: I wouldn't have described it as rude, LOL, but you couldn't be more right! As you can see, there is more, so R/R, please! ^_^ Laterz! 

Wind Walker: Thank you! Although I don't know what FW thinks he's going to do, since Seto's already dead... well, he's welcome to try! ~_^ I love your names, BTW, very very cool! I hope to hear from you again after this chapter, okay? Laterz! 

shinomorikrazd: Yeah, Evil Seto's entertaining, to say the least, LOL. Don't get me wrong, I love Joey, but my dark side just screams out to torture him once in a while, so I gotta let it run free, right? ~_^ Thanks for taking the time to review, ja ne! 

Sakura Li: Okay, as long as the writing was good! (sigh of relief) ^_^ Sorry it affected you so deeply, hope this chapter's more your style! When the reviewers aren't traumatized, the reviews are longer! ^_^ Laterz! 

suppi- chan: I always try to update as fast as I can, but with college just around the corner... (sigh) that doesn't seem like it's going to be very often. It could be worse, though; I've seen authors that don't update for like, forever! ^_^ Thanks for your time and energy in reviewing, it means a lot to authors, so keep on doing it, LOL. Later! 

Lady Geuna: Well, if you liked Seto's POV, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this final chapter's from Joey's perspective, not his. Sorry, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! I agree that it's creepy... (I wrote it and it gives me chills) but I think that makes it all the more interesting, right? ^_^ Thanks for your review; ja ne! 

Jantra: Aww... kawaii! (pets Jantra-San) Don't worry, this might not be a happy ending, but it's not totally sad either... it could have been A LOT worse, and almost was! You can thank my beta-reader, babygurl/Hema, for that save, LOL. Glad you enjoyed it, hope this chapter lives up to expectations! Laterz! 

I like to mope: Hehe... I hope all those questions are answered in this chapter... if they aren't, I didn't do a very good job! ~_^ Hope the story didn't send you into too big a depression... I never wanted to do that, although it does speak wonders for my writing skills, LOL. Thanks for your reviews, look forward to reading another one for this chapter! 

Lady Akuen: (eating pocky) Thanks! It's great! Sad, angsty ending... hmm, I wonder if this one fits the bill? Tell me if it does or not, okay? ^_^ Thank you for your encouragement, your boosters, and your review, it's much appreciated! Love ya! 

Starfly: Really, my best? Wow... thank you very much! (bows) I worked so hard on their characters, so it means more than usual that I got that aspect right. I'm glad we've reached an agreement about Tea; I really hate unresolved issues, LOL! ^_^ Thanks for your faithful reviews, your killer personality, and being an all-around cool person! (huggles) Hope you enjoy this chapter! 

DJ Moves: LOL, the temptation to get them together was really strong, but I held back. Didn't really want a cliché story, after all... LOL, sorry I made you ill, but thanks for the compliment on my writing talents! This might be the last chapter, but I hope I don't disappoint! ^_^ Laterz! 

Spazishness: What a cute name! This chapter's the end, but to say any more other than what I wrote above in the author notes would probably be a spoiler. Just gotta read it, I guess! ^_^ Be sure to tell me whether you still love the story after this, and thanks again for the review! 

Joeysgirl: Wow, my story had an impact on you, I can see... thanks, that really makes it worthwhile! ^_^ LOL, your review was cute/funny, laughed my head off, but hasn't Joey gone through enough? LOL... thanks for all the funny reviews/encouragement, love ya for it! ^_^ Please keep it up! 

Warnings: Nothing like the last chapter... actually, I don't think anything, period. Oh, mention of suicide/death, if that qualifies! ^_^ Oh, and remember, this is Joey's POV, okay? 

Disclaimer: Don't own them! 

Chapter 8: Shooting Stars and Razorblades 

The first thing I notice as I walk into the funeral parlor, apart from the totally insane temperature, is the complete and utter silence. Almost reverently, I brush the snow from my jacket, leaning forward to peer into a few of the rooms closer to the entrance. Those that aren't closed up are empty, and I find myself wondering whether I screwed up the date or something. _Can't be. I checked the paper fifty times before I left. It's gotta be today._

I make my way down the oak-paneled halls, a somber painting catching my eye every so often as I pass. Finally, just as I'm about to give up, I catch a glimmer of light spilling out from the room at the end of the hall. Steeling myself, I take a deep breath and enter. 

Despite the raging blizzard outside, I had expected to find someone else here. Work-related acquaintances, Kaiba Corp executives, maybe even one of our teachers. Instead, what meets my gaze is row upon row of empty seats, extending from where I stand to the other end of the elegant and quite obviously expensive hall. 

Before I have time to convince myself that I don't really want to go through with this, I stride down the aisle, a confidence in my step that is by no means reflected in my heart. The empty seats send chills down my spine as I pass them, feeling like a too-curious horror movie protagonist in a haunted house. _And I thought funerals were creepy when they were packed..._

You're lying in a beautifully finished oak casket on a slightly upraised platform, and I'm tempted to delude myself into thinking you're simply asleep. Maybe this is some warped cosmic joke, and if I only have enough faith in the possibility, you'll wake up, apologize for everything, and we'll ride off happily into the sunset. _Yeah, and I think I see a pig taking off over there._

__

As I clear the last row, I hear the muted creak of a chair shifting against the linoleum. To my right, a vaguely human shape is lying in the front row, wrapped in an overlarge coat, his raven hair spilling out onto the adjoining seat. _Mokuba._ I kneel next to him, stroking his head softly, and he burrows deeper into the coat, which had obviously belonged to you at some point in time. _Poor kid hasn't been taking this well, I'm sure. Last I heard, you guys weren't on the best of terms, and now... it must be just as hard on him as it is on me._ Perhaps even worse, although just thinking about what that would be like could probably make me lose what little control I've thus far been able to exercise over my grief and, to a lesser extent, my hatred. 

Rising from the floor, I move up to your coffin hesitantly. The entire platform is covered in flower arrangements that I know for a fact you would have despised. "It's so easy to hate you," I whisper, not wanting to wake Mokuba up. He can use whatever sleep he can get at this point. "You're such an asshole, even in death, leaving us like that. A coward, and a vicious monster..." I break off suddenly, fighting back tears. I've cried enough; the least I can do is be strong now, if only for a little while. 

"But you weren't totally bad either, were you?" I continue, half expecting an answer. "I know you loved Mokuba... at least as well as you could love anything." I stop again, taking a deep breath. "Did you ever love me, Seto Kaiba? I know what you said that day, after we..." _Don't go down that road, Joey._ "...but, still... you seemed so sincere the rest of the time, I can't believe it was all a lie. You must have felt something for me, something other than hatred, or that perverse satisfaction you knew so well. I..." Another deep breath. "...I can't believe I gave all that I had to someone who was more a machine than anything human. I just can't. I can't have been duped so easily, not into giving up something that important. It's not possible." 

Of course, I don't really expect you to answer, do I? Still, I stare at your face for a long time, praying for another glimpse of those midnight eyes, so cruel and enticing at once. I trace the poorly covered lines around your throat, where the rope cut into your flesh. Did it hurt, or were you beyond the pain by then? 

I flex my wrist against the gauze strips that bind it. I know I was that day. It's so amazing, how you can let yourself believe you have it all, only realizing how hollow and fragile it all is when it's shattered in a pile at your feet. Amazing, and devastating. 

Seren' found me a little while after I got the nerve to do it. Apparently, I cut too shallowly, or so the doctor said. It certainly looked deep enough to me, but it's not like I had any experience with that sort of thing. 

I probably would have tried it again, and succeeded this time, but watching Serenity cry at my bedside for nearly three straight days, until I was released, made me realize that I wasn't the only one that my suicide would affect, and I can't do that to her. I can't leave her alone, like you did to me. I'm not like you, Seto Kaiba, although whether I should feel proud or relieved by that fact still escapes me. 

For all that you did to me, no matter how evil you were, I still miss you, more than I can say. I gave you my heart, unconditionally, and that kind of love doesn't evaporate like morning dew on your perfectly tended lawn for anything, even the knowledge that it's not reciprocated. I still love you, Seto, just as much as I ever did. Perhaps you were right in calling me a puppy dog; no matter how many times I get kicked, I'm not going to stop coming back to you. 

God, I would give everything I had left just to see you one last time, to have the chance to tell you this face to face. Why did you leave me, and Mokuba too? Where are you, Seto, when we really need you? 

I know you're none of those things I called you before, not at your heart. When you let your guard down, let me see you for who you are, the darkness was overwhelming; still, in the very center of it, there was a ray of light, like Pandora's Box. It had been crushed under the tide of responsibilities, the weight of a thousand evils pressing down upon it, a million sins, but it was there all the same. It takes real strength to combat that kind of darkness as you did for so long, and I admire you for that. 

You're such a puzzle to me, Seto. You always were. I hate you, yet I love you more than life itself. On one hand, you're weak for not allowing yourself to love, and on the other you're strong for continuing to exist against such overwhelming odds. Hotter than Hell, but cold as ice. You're a swirling mass of complexities, and I wish that I had had more time to decipher them. 

Leaning down, I kiss you for the last time, softly and fleetingly. You might not have done much else to merit Heaven, or even Purgatory, but you gave me something to base my life around; my love for you, unchanging and stable. Should you lose your way in whatever plane you wind up on, my heart will be the path that will bring you where you wish to go. It's the very least I can do for the love of my life. 

I sit down beside Mokuba, resting his head in my lap and comforting him as best I can. _Don't worry about him, Seto. He's in good hands._ Again, it is the very least I can do. 

I may have been powerless to make your life any better, but I'll be damned if I allow your legacy to fade away without a fight. 

* * * 

This is it, guys, the end of the fic! What'd you all think? Please R/R, and I hope that Joey's POV wasn't too confusing for anyone! Love you all, and I look forward to reading your feedback! ^_^ Laterz! 


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